I fear there is not enough wood in the world for me to knock on. For the past week and a half I have been doing very well Anxiety-wise. Not perfect, but very well. I hope it stays this way … or perhaps gets even better.
It all has to do with another change with my mental health meds.
For years I’ve been sharing how I take a doctor-prescribed “chill pill” to help me through particularly Anxiety-prone situations. It’s been fairly successful, but it’s also something I take either in reaction to Anxiety invading my mind or in trying to predict when It will strike me. In other words, if I’m not guessing when I should take the chill pill, I’m doing so after my brain and body have been ravaged by my bully.
Oh yeah, it’s also a drug that can build dependence. And if it does, it can be a little difficult to quit.
I never abused the drug, so I didn’t have this problems. But it’s always been something in the back of my mind … especially after I’ve gone through a long string of two-chill-pill-days because my head was in a very bad place.
So … back to the good news. A week and a half ago I had a visit with my mental health doctor. I told her I was prepared to be as good as I could get even though mornings and
were still pretty tough, and Anxiety had found a new way to attack me with complete surprise.
She paused for a moment and then started telling me about another augmentation drug I could try that was particularly helpful with keeping you steady as opposed to the reactive chill pill method I’ve become used to.
My doctor also noted that the drug had no tolerance problems.
“Let’s try it!” I said enthusiastically.
Before I left her office she sent in a prescription to my pharmacy and wrote out another to keep the chill pills at the ready just in case this cocktail didn’t work.
In fact, she said while the goal was to get off the old chill pills, I should feel no shame in still using them if needed to get through particularly challenging times.
Right now, I’m taking the smallest dosage of new medication. When I visit my doctor again she may tweak it up just bit more to make sure it gets me to a regular, steady state where my emotions match the situations I am in.
I have no problem with this. I am prone to hope.