First off, thanks to everyone for the get well wishes and pep talks via Facebook. They are really helpful. Really! The compassion and reminding me of my strengths helped last night not feel so isolating. (Rebecca is on a work trip … in France! So we weren’t able to chat until a couple hours later that night).
So I was talking with Rebecca this morning and thought of a different way to explain the scariness of the type of panic attack that occurred last night.
Last night I described it as Anxiety grabbing ahold of my breath in my lungs and making it painful as it left my body. My throat constricted, and I felt an enduring pain in my throat and chest. This is definitely an accurate description of the physical aspect.
The scariness is that the feeling came from deep within me as if It — the Anxiety demon — was always there, a part of me, just waiting for the right moment to grab ahold of my body and breath. And that coming from deep within me simply reminds me that Anxiety, while not completely defining me, is a part of who I am. As my med doctor and therapist say, “Some people are just anxious.”
I am one of those people. I simply have to use tactics to deal with it.
So to end on a positive note, I’ll share some of the reminders on my laptop screen that help calm me as Anxiety works to rear It’s ugly head:
see the value in who you are – breathe – be in the present – be fully present – be silent – be humble – be flexible – assume people have positive intent – demand perfection of no one, including yourself – everyone is priceless to someone – look at snazzy photos – laugh at prior mistakes – shed illogical worries – if I think of a bad memory, also think of a good one – worry only about things you can take action on – think of people who value you – see obstacles as necessary for success – when Anxiety attacks, ask yourself “why?” – acknowledge Anxiety if It’s already pounced on you; let It sit beside you, not occupy you – take a sick day if you’ve lost the battle – remember that every day is a new day – change loneliness (lack of social connection) to solitude (solitary work of intentional focus and drawing connections) – healing involves three domains (i.e. physical, psychological, and spiritual)