Tomorrow (Wednesday), I have an appointment with my therapist. Regular readers of Prone to Hope may recall that I frequently blog before and after these visits. Beforehand, I try to figure out how I will approach my time for some really honest talk about how I am doing. Afterwards, I’ve been known to write to process what was said in the conversation. (I want to get the most out of my co-pay!)
I should note, joking aside, that I really appreciate the care I receive — both from my therapist and from my med doctor. Also important, my wife really appreciates my therapist and doctor. She loves that they don’t sugar-coat how they see me doing, and they are both prone to letting me know where I’ve personally got some work to do to keep getting better (or maintain an acceptable place).
Anyhow, I don’t just schedule a visit with my therapist for nothing. Back when I made the appointment, I was going through a really rough patch (just after the holiday season). I was questioning whether or not Depression was trying to make a comeback (it was not), and I was feeling some increased Anxiety on a daily basis. I was pretty sure I knew what the Anxiety-triggers were that were creating the situation. I thought a visit with my therapist would help me tackle those triggers.
Well, tomorrow’s visit is still on. But I’m in a slightly different place. The Anxiety has receded considerably.
Why? My issues have not disappeared. And the Anxiety is still present (just at a lower level).
Well, it’s because I’m trying to figure out whether I should accept where I am — my wife likes the word “abide.” Or am I more in a more “resigned” / more negative place with my Anxiety?
Do I have a problem? Or have I settled (in a good way) at how Anxiety is going to sit with me … pester me … but I can often manage my way out of the situation after doing the brain tricks that have been taught to me from my therapist or I read in a book or I personally fashioned to get me out of the bouts on the winning side?
I’m doing a cost benefit-analysis. And I need some help weighing where I am at.
Wish me luck.