While I’m not absolutely certain yet, I’d take a gamble that my current med mix, which I started last week, is working as best can be expected and at an acceptable level. I still experience some Anxiety each morning, but it’s manageable. And it recedes greatly after I take my mid-morning meds. On top of that, because of the med change, the side effects of tiredness and brain fog have reduced some as well. Nothing’s perfect; but I feel I’m headed to a more stable place.
I’ve also been incorporating meditation and exercising each morning, which in the past couple days does seem to be making an impact. And it could make even more of a positive impact if I stay consistent each morning — meditate for at least 10 minutes and exercise some of my triggered muscles to fatigue (i.e. neck, shoulders, and chest), so it’s hard for them to tighten and contribute to the physical aspects of Anxiety or a panic attack. I may also start writing a little about gratitude each morning (or perhaps daytime).
I know that this does not mean that elevated levels of Anxiety won’t hit me once in a while. Also, I presume, I’ll have panic attacks now and then. But as I’ve just noted, my latest experiment with my meds and my mornings are making a positive impact on my mental health.
In addition to this, to be completely frank, I know that readership of Prone to Hope is really low. And so I want to ask readers to be upfront with me by sending me an email (firstname.lastname@example.org) or private messaging me on Facebook — you can even comment publicly on this blog if you’d like. If enough people send me honest responses that Prone to Hope is still fulfilling three of its four objectives (save the fact that writing about my mental health helps me), I will continue posting to the site:
- One of the worst feelings when you are experiencing Anxiety and / or Depression is that you feel so alone, so isolated. You even convince yourself that no one understands or even wants to know what you are going through. I share my experience because I’ve been told that my sharing has helped others not feel so alone and isolated.
- I want to fight the stigma attached to mental illnesses. Some people still have backward thoughts about people who suffer from mood disorders. Some think of us as weak; but it takes incredible strength to live with a mental illness. Some think of us as people who can’t contribute to the rest of society. There may be times when it’s hard to contribute; but it doesn’t mean we don’t try and often succeed despite the odds against us.
- I want people who don’t suffer from Anxiety and Depression to know at least one perspective about what it’s like. Also, I’ve been told that my writing has helped others who have friends, family, and / or colleagues who suffer from Anxiety and / or Depression understand what is still an issue closeted in some segments of society.
If Prone to Hope still helps enough people in these regards, I will continue posting. But if the site has outlived its purpose, I will simply write privately in my journal.
Now, what do I still have to post about? Well, I hope to write to myself (and perhaps others) on the potential benefits of meditation, exercise, and expressing gratitude. And, of course, as I experience Anxiety (and let’s hope not for a long time, Depression), I will write about that. In fact, if I go through another bout with Depression, the site will likely be revived.
So, I’m going to track mental health for the next week or two: Have my med and morning changes worked? If not, I’ll likely keep writing for the site. But if so, then it’s really up to my readers. Any feedback during that time will help me determine if the site stays live or not.