Pondering the future of “Prone to Hope”

 

Friends, I don’t know what to do with Prone to Hope. Some may have noticed that I took the site down for a considerable amount of time. It’s been months since I last posted — for reasons, if I feel more comfortable at a later date, I may get into.

But to begin this post, it’s worth saying that I am in a constant state of healing. I’m in a pretty good place, but I still need to be vigilant in taking care of myself (e.g. exercising; meditating; trying not to live in the mistakes of the past, but learning from the past and then quickly moving on). I find it hard to be kind, patient, and accepting of who I am.

I still struggle with Anxiety, but not nearly as intensely as I have before.

I’m not sure if writing about someone my current state is helpful for others who struggle with Anxiety and Depression and/or know someone who does. Anyhow, I figured I’d give a short list of topics on my mind:

  • My biggest struggle right now is that when I make foolish mistakes, my Anxiety levels rise very quickly and intensely. I get extremely flustered. I sometimes go into the hole of a panic attack. And, I thoroughly beat myself up over the missteps I’ve made. I spend an incredible amount of time and energy thinking about the fool I feel I have been.
  • Am I currently the right messenger? As I said, I am in a state of constant healing. But over the past several months I’ve seen and talked with people who are living in the intense hell of Anxiety and/or Depression. I don’t want to diminish their struggles by me writing in an acceptable, yet still healing, state.
  • I could write about how I keep often keep myself in a healing place (e.g. exercise, meditation, gardening, talking or writing myself through a period of high Anxiety — usually talking with my spouse or writing in my journal (and blog?)).
  • Linking to articles I find via social media, and writing about why I find them helpful.
  • More posts about how I still struggle with the me I am now as opposed to the person I was prior to my last major battle with intense Depression and Anxiety.
  • Writing about the physical pain of Anxiety and panic attacks. (As I experience this, writing about it often brings me to a place of healing,)
  • The annoying — to put it lightly — side effects of some medications. And the cost-benefit analysis one must go through to figure out if exploring other medications is necessary.

Anyhow, I’ll keep the site up for at least a little while. I’ll see what moves me and if I feel that’s offering something beneficial to the world.

Take care, friends.

P.S. If you find yourself exploring the site, you may see what appear to be broken links (bolded and crossed out text). They are not broken links; you can still click on them and be directed to the appropriate post. I will try to resolve the appearance of a problem as soon as possible.

 

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